In life, feeling down or miserable sometimes is normal. But if these feelings become painful, we may experience an aching heart, mind, body and spirit. We could have trouble sleeping or a change in appetite. We might withdraw from families and friends, and most significantly, we can lose hope.
This could be depression, especially if it lasts longer than a couple of weeks.
Depression is very common. It can affect relationships with family and friends and our ability to work or go to school. It can also lead to suicide.
First you need to know that you are not alone. 1 in every 7 Kiwi teens experience depression.
If you’re feeling alone, or too embarrassed or ashamed to be open about it, know that so many other people are in the same boat and struggling through the same stuff.
Depression usually comes from a combination of things. Firstly, the way you think affects the way you feel. So if your thinking is really negative, your feelings are likely to be negative too. If you feel sad and depressed you are also more likely to think about things in negative ways. This can be a really unhealthy and unhelpful cycle. It can be easy to get stuck in and hard to get out of.
There can be a specific event that triggers depression. This could be a break-up with your GF or BF. It can be losing your job, having to go to court, and other things that are tough to face.
Alongside tough life events, there are some personal factors that can actually make those harder to deal with. For example, depression can run in your family or you can suffer from pain or have another illness.
Finally, there are some lifestyle things – these are things you do normally as part of your life – such as drinking a lot, or having sleeping problems that can add up to being vulnerable to depression. In the table below there are some common examples of ‘life events’, ‘personal factors’ and ‘lifestyle’ that can make a combo of stuff we know are linked to depression:
Life events
Personal factors
Lifestyle
Different kinds of depression need different types of support or treatments. You can also read Le Va’s Depression Factsheet to find out more about the signs of depression. The info is available in English, Samoan, Cook Islands and Tongan languages.
1. Talk to someone
Firstly you need to know that you don’t have to deal with depression on your own. So many people (1 in 7) go through the same struggles.
The most important thing to do is ask for help. There are many things that might block you from asking for help: shame, embarrassment, worthlessness, pride, guilt and lack of hope – feeling like it’s just not worth it. Part of depression often involves feeling these things. But you’ve got to remember that everyone deserves to feel free from depression.
Tell someone you trust how you’re feeling. It could be family, a friend or your church leader.
There are also many health professionals and services available. What’s best for you depends on whether your depression is mild or more serious. Depression becomes serious when it gets in the way of doing all the ordinary and normal things in your life and you really lose hope. Read my tips on talking too.
2. Help yourself as much as you can
For mild symptoms of depression and when you’re feeling low, self-help strategies work really well.
3. Be safe
If you have had thoughts about taking your own life or harming yourself, please call one of these numbers now. Aunty Dee and her team care about you - you can get through this, so get help early.
4. Get help
If you have other severe symptoms of depression you’ll need to talk to a doctor, psychologist or counsellor who is trained to treat depression. Medication can also make a difference. If you want to talk to someone confidentially or ask questions, try these free numbers. Even if a phone call is not enough to help, it can be a good first step.